2026 Election
Garden Snails to Elect First Patio Council in Generations
Voting opens at the first heavy dew of the month and closes when the last ballot arrives, which organizers expect to take some time.
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World
After Three Weeks, Snail Delegation Reaches the Far Side of the Patio
The crossing, long thought impossible in a single dry season, ended at dawn on Thursday beside a flowerpot that delegates described as “frankly enormous.”
Business
Lettuce Futures Jump as Dry Spell Grips Hillside Allotments
Traders say the price of a single leaf has nearly doubled in a week, and the vegetable patch is in no hurry to help.
Sports
Underdog Takes the Slow Cup by the Width of a Shell
In a final that ran well past midnight, an unranked newcomer edged out the two-time champion on a wet flagstone.
World
Steady Rain Expected Through the Weekend, to Widespread Delight
Forecasters predict three days of drizzle, the longest wet stretch of the autumn so far.
Arts
A Museum Show Built Entirely From Silver Trails
The new exhibition under the garden bench asks visitors to look at the patio at night, by moonlight, from very close up.
Opinion
Business
Hedge Trimming Schedule Pushed Back After Talks With Residents
The reprieve gives families living in the privet two more weeks to find new homes.
Science
How a Shell Grows, One Ring at a Time
A snail never trades up to a bigger shell. It builds onto the one it was born with.
Arts
Review: ‘The Long Way Round’ Takes Its Time, and Earns It
A debut novel about a snail who refuses to take shortcuts is slow, patient and quietly moving.
Sports
Garden Marathon Extends Course Cutoff to Nine Days
Organizers said the change was overdue. Several runners said they would have finished anyway, eventually.